Splendor of Truth...
I was born into a practicing family, but only knew the post-conciliar Church. After my studies in Lyon, I came back to live in my native Provence, I missed Mont Ventoux so much!
After my marriage I really distanced myself from this Church which “brought me nothing”, but I nevertheless continued to seek meaning, to seek God.
In 1997 I experienced a first “conversion” or re-conversion which made me begin a more regular Christian life, in particular with a musical commitment in the Parish (I hate this word liturgical animator) to which I have been faithful ever since. So I became a traveling musician between several villages, within a sparse and graying, but warm community; Personally, the contribution to the faith is meager, but out of loyalty to these brave people and to the devoted priest I continue as best I can during these years. ...
Until March 2020. Churches closed, masses prohibited (for Easter I sit alone under an olive tree looking at the landscape) Where does this Francis' sentence come from - which I hardly appreciated, but I was educated to trust and obey - getting vaccinated is an act of love;
I had just lost all my work (artistic mediator) in nursing homes and hospitals for refusing these injections, and now the churches are reopening with this horrible masquerade which aggregates and inserts itself into the course of the mass: masking, red tape , gel (just after washing hands), distances... This is the moment when we are subjected to yet another translation of the texts, that's a lot. I feel completely out of place. I can no longer stand the constant “sound filling”, the liturgical inventions, the inept chants, the guitar...
Something broke. How did the Bishops not react? And the faithful, how could they submit so easily? It's a lot.
My research on the Internet makes me discover what happened before Vatican II, WHO really drove the decisions, the vision of Leo XIII...
I then look for where to attend a traditional mass, what luck, 18km from home the Barroux abbeys offer it. On the 1st Sunday of Lent 2023, I will experience my “first mass” and who knows my first communion. It's a real emotional shock:
the mass is in the right direction: towards God...We take the time to enter into the mystery (we have eternity before us), it's beautiful, it's sober, the atmosphere is calm, a bath of peace.
Since then I try at least twice a month to go to this mass. I was warned: “you will no longer tolerate modern masses”! Indeed.
My soul was starving, and I didn't know it.
I continue to draw on this beautiful treasure, I rediscover the rosary (which I learned to say in Latin), in the small oratory installed at home, in the nearby rural chapel to which (how lucky) I have the key , and whose altar with the tabernacle has not been damaged.
I have the impression of having taken root, in the evil winds that travel the world, I feel a deep peace! I found my house.
To lead me there in recent months, I have been fortunate to have many quite astonishing “signs” to which I can bear witness. Occasionally.
Within my family I am totally alone in my approach, everyone abandoned the Church a long time ago, it is a sadness, but what I experience during these masses consoles and comforts me.
I don't sing or play anymore, too bad: silence for God is so beautiful.